The Arcadian restaurant Caffe Di Milano in Birmingham England suffered a devastating fire, after sparkles from a fancy alcoholic drink allegedly ignited dry decorative foliage. The carnage that followed featured pitiful extinguishing attempts and piss-poor fire protocol.

Once the fire was already blazing, an employee desperately attempted to dowse it with a tiny bucket of water to predictably futile results. A different clip showed someone with a fire extinguisher standing just far enough away from the flames to render it ineffective.

The dressed-up patrons also displayed lethargic exit strategies. "Where is Dwight Schrute when you need him?" One person asked. "So y'all don't learn fire protocol in the UK huh?" Said another one. Despite the clips seen here, staff managed to extinguish the blaze before the fire department arrived. Perhaps extinguisher training and a sprinkler system are in order. Despite the urge to film instead of flee, there were no reported injuries.