In need of a perfect short escape? Don’t want to use your brain for a couple of minutes? Well, you’re in luck, cause we have gathered a huge gallery of the best tweets from the past week. You don’t even have to take time to remember your Twitter password. We did the work and combed through the site to give you the laughs you deserve.

This week started with a bang coming out of Halloweekend and into actual Halloween. We got tweets about cursed items in kids’ candy bags and a lone banana harassed on the streets. We’d also like to send prayers out to all of our post-Halloweekend bank accounts. May they recover before holiday shopping. On the zany side of things we learn about thieves using an adorable kitten as a distraction and the movie, Avatar 2: The Way Of Water which asked its audience to suspend their disbelief enough to believe that the military would create giant Oakleys for their Na’vi soldiers.

Learn the recipe for Sad Pepsi (which truly lives up to the name), fun ways to make driving not boring anymore, and why beach reading selfies are only cool when it seems like you’re actually reading the book. There’s emo Shaquille O’Neals galore on this week's tweet round-up! 

Scroll down and experience a curated Twitter experience without the annoying South African billionaire.