If you know an asshole, then consider getting that good for nothing deliquent something from the naughty-list holiday gift guide.

"Maybe You Touched Your Genitals" Hand Sanitizer 

The word "maybe" is a courtesy.

Look and Feel Canadian Breath Spray

Look like a moose’s cock and feel like 2nd place.

Farting Piggy Bank

Not sure what do with that loose change in your pocket? Stick it up your ass!!!!

Replica Fat 

Drop a hint in your girlfriend’s stocking.

STD Test

Merry Syphilismas.

How to Live with a Huge Penis [Paperback]

Buy two. Keep one in the car. Then just let the book do the lying for you.

"Suck It" Socks

That’s what those dicksuckers get for looking at your socks.

Powdered Peanut Butter

NOTE: Your dog won’t lick it off you until after you add water.