For those of you who are doomed to be forever alone for Valentine's Day this year, get yourself something special from this gift list! Also take a moment to realize that you can buy yourself some kick as shit because you are free to do whatever the fuck you want!

World of Warcraft: Mists of Pandaria Collector's Edition

You know you play it, man up and get this Collector's Edition WOW.

Potty Putter Putting Mat Golf Game

Yes this is real. A way to make taking a shit even more enjoyable!

The Butt Mug

his way you can assure yourself of getting some ass every day!

The Tuggie

Love to walk around the house naked, but tired of seeing how small your cold dick is? Get this Tuggie and enjoy being naked with a normal size warm penis.

Blue Balls Penis Ice Cube Tray

Blue Balls are nothing to joke about.

Disappoint Mints

Your life is already full of them, maybe if you eat these, they will go away.

Images You Should Not Masturbate To

I know it sounds wild, but masturbating less might actually help you get laid.

Color My Boobs!

Get more familiar with the female anatomy, all while improving your artistic skills!

How To Eat Stinky Pussy

This will get you closer to having a girlfriend, if you want one.

'Crystal Skull' Shotglass

Because you probably think this will help you get laid if you are lucky enought to lure a victim back to your lair.

Pen Spy Camera Camera Recorder

eBaum's World is not responsible for the images captured on your cameras.